Scroll to Top

When lovers keep blaming each other

By statefm / Published on Tuesday, 01 Dec 2015 07:33 AM / 103 Comments / 1337 views

lovers 7

Human nature is selfish and negatively biased. You fight for what you need when and how you need it. If your needs are not met, you tend to blame it on your lover.

You ignore the lump in your eyes and criticise the speck in your lover’s eyes.

You focus on what your lover is doing wrong and minimise the good things he or she does for you and your lover does the same to you. Simply put you play the blame game.

 How the blame game works

Your lover says or does something not pleasing to you. It may be a genuine mistake or error of judgement but you focus on the fault and accuse your lover without looking at your side of the problem.

There is blame and defensiveness from both parties. You bring in the past and irrelevant mistakes as you argue about who did what instead of looking at what you can do better.

A young man is always accusing his woman of cheating and he gets very mad at her and sometimes abuses her physically.

The woman says he hardly sees him and he hardly calls. He is also not affectionate and he makes her feel unwanted.

The blame game goes on when all they need to do is to find time for each other and romance their relationship

 Effect of blame game

You see your lover as your problem and solution and think you will be happy if he or she did what you want.

You have bad feeling about each other and you both get frustrated.

You set yourself up for conflict which may predispose you to physical, mental and emotional harm.

 How to get over blame game

Put the focus on yourself: Every problem in a relationship is shared. You must, therefore, take responsibility for your part in every challenge in your relationship.

If things go wrong, find out what you can do differently to nurture your relationship.

You are in charge of how you feel and react.

Nobody can make you angrier than you can make yourself. You cannot change your partner.

Never let your partner or issues in your relationship run your life because no one including your lover can make you happy. Only you can.

Have the realistic expectation of your relationship: Accept  that it is impossible to have a relationship without conflicts.

Read more from The Mirror…

– See more at:


103 thoughts on “When lovers keep blaming each other”

  1. I have been examinating out many of your articles and i can state pretty good stuff. I will surely bookmark your website.

  2. After exploring a handful of the blog articles on your web site,
    I honestly like your technique of writing a blog.
    I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back in the near future.
    Please check out my web site too and let me know your opinion.


  4. The researchers noted that they ould not confirm whether the guys in the study
    had been prescribed testosterone according to doctors’ guidelines, which require doctors look for medical issues
    that could bee related too testosterone deficiency and to draw blood
    in thhe morning on two different days.

  5. Nevertheless, prior to going checking yourseelf into a retirement home, you can locate a trustworthy testosterone doctor to quickly maintain yojr youth.

  6. This therapy hhas great potential for grownups that have growth hormone deficiency and seek to reverse the effects off aging or treat a medical illness.


  8. Do you have a spam problem on this website; I also am a blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; we have created some nice practices and we are looking to exchange techniques with other folks,
    why not shoot me an email if interested.

  9. Attractive section of content. I simply stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to say that I acquire actually enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Anyway I will be subscribing in your augment and even I success you get right of entry to consistently rapidly.

  10. Great blog on this site! Also your site loads up
    fast! What host are you currently the utilization of?
    Can I have your associate hyperlink for your personal host?
    I want my internet site loaded as fast as yours lol

  11. You will be so interesting! I do not suppose I actually have read an individual thing that way before.
    So wonderful to learn another individual with a few original thoughts
    on this subject. Really.. many thanks for starting
    this up. This site can be something that is required on the net, someone with many originality!

  12. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having a difficult time locating it but,
    I’d love to send an email. I’ve got a bit of recommendations for your blog you may be considering hearing.
    Either way, great blog and so i look forward to seeing it grow with time.

  13. When someone writes an paragraph he/she retains the image
    of your user in his/her brain that just how a user
    can understand it. Thus that’s why this bit of writing is
    amazing. Thanks!

  14. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox
    and now each time a comment is added I get four emails
    with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people
    from that service? Many thanks!

Leave a Reply

DJI Mavic Pro - Smart, Powerful, Portable