Dating is not a marriage proposal – Counselor Adofoli
I want to date you is not a marriage proposal or a visa to marriage;it just means I want to study you;I want to find out if it’s worth locking down the rest of my life with you.
It means I want to test you with a small portion of my life today to determine if you are worth entrusting the rest of my life with.It means discovering who you are, your true colours; a friend about whom you learn something new every day.
It has nothing to do with changing you to become who I want. It boils down to making a decision on your findings, whether you liked what you discovered or not.
It is not a promise of marriage and it also means I can go ahead and marry anyone I wish if you are not the right person for me.It involves no commitments and no hard feelings, just a learning ground for the two of us.
We should be able to embrace the outcome and never try to change anyone to become who we want.In life, the only person you can change is you, besides you, you have no power to change anyone.
The young people who have turned dating upside down, interpreting it as a marriage proposal, and treating a boyfriend or girlfriend like a husband or wife; you are very wrong.
It’s unfortunate for a boyfriend or girlfriend to try changing the other; beating and assaulting each other in the aid of change, or policing and reporting each other to their family and friends all in the name of dating.
Dating is for the matured who is ready for marriage; not for the boyfriend or girlfriend who is looking for an avenue to experiment marriage.
At this stage you are not responsible for each other’s upkeep, nor responsible for each other’s sexual and emotional needs.
Allow me to know who you are and if I am happy with it, I will naturally fall in love with you then make a decision on marriage; but don’t force me into marriage when I barely know you.
Discover and fall in love with what you have seen, don’t fall in love with him or her before discovering they are cheats, don’t fall in love with a beater before you find out who he or she is.
You don’t go into dating to find someone to love or accept you. You need to love and accept yourself. Have a relationship with yourself, then go out to discover a new person. The new person is not coming to fix your shortfalls; they only come to compliment you.
In conclusion “Remember, too, that knowing what is right to do and then not doing it is sin” – James 4:17 (TLB)
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Thank you for reading. This has been your Counselorand Motivator.
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